Status Update : kmm 01/29/2010

The phrase “hanging out” has confused me for years. I use it when referring to getting together with friends. Girl friends. And boy friends. (Even though we all know there’s really no such thing.) I “hang out” with people all the time. This is different from dating.

Hanging out is the equivalent to eating off the free sample plate at your local coffee shop. Sure, you don’t have to commit to one purchase, but you are sharing that same cookie with everyone else. Not really my style. Not everyone washes their hands. I prefer studying the cookies. Inquiring about them. Making a decision. And buying my own. Then, if I don’t like it, I can always buy another. Naturally, I don’t “hang out” with men. I go on dates with them. And since the art of dating seems to be lost on my generation, I am reintroducing the term. A date, as defined by me:

1. Occurs on a weekend night
2. Involves transportation
3. Effort in attire
4. Is arranged at least 24 hours in advance. By phone. Not text.

This leads me to my update. Tonight. I am going on a date. With a man. Set up two days beforehand. Over the phone. He is picking me up. I’m wearing high heels. And even though my date admits that he gave up on baseball in 1988, I’m still willing to give him a chance. See what a difference a phone call makes?

By kmm | Posted in Status Update | Comments (0)

The Interview 01/26/2010

In my line of work, it is not uncommon for me to be sitting across the table from an attractive stranger – coffee cups between us – and talking for an hour. Or two. What is uncommon is for that interview to end and become a conversation between strangers that lasts all afternoon. And it never ends with the subject calling me with follow up questions: Am I free Friday and do I want to grab a drink? But that my dear readers is exactly what happened today.

By kmm | Posted in Conversations, Uncategorized | Comments (0)

The Boy Next Door – 12am 01/01/2010

The Eve of the New Year tends to be wrought with impossibly high expectations which is why I tend to keep things simple and cheery as I step out on this night. My fellow stalker and I took to the streets of San Francisco, remanicing on loves gone wrong and toasting to better futures over beer and whisky. 

Although boys were on the brain, they were not on the agenda… Until two cute ones decided to join our little party. The Boy Next Door, a handsome lad with a penchant for 80s music, literally lives on my block. We laughed, we raised our glasses at midnight and after it was over we went our seperate ways in the same direction.  

By aqm | Posted in General Stalking, New Target | Tagged | Comments (0)

The Negotiation – 11:15pm 12/31/2009

When you decide to do a “low key” New Year’s is it by choice or because you don’t have a better offer? I pondered this as I rode to meet AQM at one of our local watering holes for a “low key” evening. (Our choice of course.) We toasted goodbye to a year that seemed to kick everyone’s ass emotionally and economically and focused on making 2010 suck less. It certainly got off to a better start. Enter extremely attractive man. With a sense of humor. And … um … well … everything.

“So. I did the math,” the Negotiator said. “You are two single girls. We are two single guys. And I certainly don’t want to kiss him at midnight.”

I pretended to consider the options.

“Well, I don’t really want to see you two kiss. You are welcome to join our table. But go back. Mull it over. Then we’ll see.”

And join us they did. And there went our low key evening. By choice. And as midnight struck and failed romances of 2009 were left behind, it was kind of nice to have a someone new to lean into.

By kmm | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (0)

The Firefighter – 10pm 12/26/2009

There are some people you say goodbye to and it’s forever. Or at least you think you do. When old friends resurface it’s usually to meet for drinks, to catch up, and then disappear. Again. When old boyfriends resurface it’s complicated. Because like old friends they know you. But better. And like old friends, you have history. But different. So when they contact you know it’s not just to meet for drinks and catch up. It’s never that easy. And neither is getting them to disappear.

By kmm | Posted in Ex Encounters | Tagged | Comments (0)

Trouble – 10pm 11/23/2009

Trouble and I met two years ago. We have gone on date dates but never dated. He holds the door. He (attempts to) cook me dinner. I wear dresses and heels. But we do not make out. You see, Trouble is a player. Which is why I will not date him. And Trouble likes that. But since moving back to the Bay Area a few months ago, Trouble is on a mission. Acquire great job, check. Acquire great apartment, check. Acquire great girlfriend … huh. Naturally, I imagine he flipped through his phone, scrolled past a long list of girls until he found my name, labeled “church girl,” and pressed send.

Him: “After you get back from LA and I get back from Colorado, I would like to court you.” (Yes, he really used that word.)
Me: “Maybe we should just meet for coffee.”

Now, the trouble with timing is everything. Once you finally are ready to commit, you find the other person has moved on. Funny how that happens.

By kmm | Posted in Conversations, General Stalking | Tagged | Comments (0)

The Bold One – 7:43pm 11/23/2009

I live exactly one block from The Bold One. He knows this. I know this. He knows I know this. So it was only a matter of time before we ran into each other. I was carrying a sandwich to the laundromat. He was taking out the recycling with his roommate. We both did a double take. And smiled. I slowed just enough to take out an earbud and answer a how are you.

“Good to see you Kristen,” he drawled. (Do boys from Kansas drawl?)

I smiled and nodded. Then continued on. Now. In another universe, a much cooler me asked him out. (And he said yes.) But I don’t live there. I live in SF. And I am not that smooth. But … at least I looked cute?

By kmm | Posted in Conversations, General Stalking | Tagged | Comments (4)

New Target : Mr. Mercury 11/18/2009

Although I’ve landed many-a-new target in Hayes Valley, I wouldn’t really qualify the quaint San Francisco neighborhood as “teeming with cute boys.” It just so happens I find myself there most often and sooner or later, statistically, I am bound to come across  someone interesting.  Today, my little path crossed with Mr. Mercury, fondly named after a welcomed new cafe in the ‘hood.  He was quietly typing away on his laptop, sending a glance here and there and generally giving off a good vibe. In fact, I think he was begging for a hello. Did I say hello? Of course not, who do you think I am? That was his job.

By aqm | Posted in General Stalking, New Target | Tagged | Comments (0)

New Target : The Bold One 11/17/2009

For four hours I played wingwoman for my new roommate the other night. It began with an invitation to play darts with two gentlemen at our local pub. Now, I rarely back down from a challenge, especially one involving cute boys. So naturally, I accepted. My future teammate was cute, athletic, and Southern. I was drafted after he watched me toss a bullseye on the practice round. It would be my last of the evening.

Despite successfully blowing three games of darts and three foosball tournaments to my roommate and her target, my partner admitted to being “very impressed” by my knowledge of MLB comeback stories, NFL draft picks and NCAA basketball.( At least, the Kansas Mizzou rivalry.) My roommate said he appeared smitten. Then it was time to leave. He said we should do this again soon. I agreed, watched him fidget, gathered my things and walked outside.

“What happened? Why didn’t he get your number,” my roommate asked as we walked home. “He totally liked you. I don’t get it.”

Neither do I. But this is not the first or even second time this has happened to me in SF. And it’s no longer disappointing; it’s simply the elimination round. My new target is not a fumbler from Kansas, but rather a boy who has just as much follow through with his promises as his pitches, a boy who isn’t afraid to step up to the plate and strike out.

By kmm | Posted in New Target | Tagged | Comments (1)

The Architect – 9:57am 11/13/2009

A possible Architect or Architect look-alike was spotted entering a nearby cafe. Because my encounters with the disappearing-reappearing Architect are few and far between, I decided to investigate further. Was it him? Was it someone new? Was it a crazy hack who looked slightly cute from afar? I had to know. The pursuit went like this:

Questionable Architect walks in to cafe.
I catch a glimpse from afar and decide to pursue.
Slowly, I approach said cafe but not with trepidation – with confidence.
I peer inside, swiftly and with purpose.
Standing at the counter is undoubtedly, The Architect.
I smile and quickly turn back to my original destination, satisfied with the confirmation.

Perhaps we’ll meet again some day. Perhaps then I’ll say hello.

By aqm | Posted in General Stalking | Tagged | Comments (1)